Friday, January 19, 2018

Bite Size Medical Tips



1. Discover Natural Asthma Remedies
Asthma is a possibly fatal disease. It is triggered by different stimuli such as allergies, extreme emotions, and food. In this day and age when a lot of natural remedies are discovered, most people expect that there is already a natural remedy for every medical condition. In this case, asthma is an exception. There is nothing, natural or not, that can cure asthma. However, there are natural remedies for its symptoms.

Stress can trigger asthma. Therefore, absence of stress can help make a person asthma-free. A lot of natural remedies for this symptom are available. People can divert their attention to something else apart from things that cause them stress. They can relax, play a game, sleep, take a walk, or anything else that will help them relieve their stress.
There are also some theories that healthy diet can help alleviate asthma symptoms, especially fishes that are rich in Omega-3. However, it will be best to get the expert’s precise diagnosis first.
2. Stress Symptoms to watch out for
Stress is one of the most common problems of people nowadays. It seems like wherever they go, they have something to be stressed about. Some people may even be experiencing stress and are not aware that it is actually stress that they are experiencing. There are different symptoms of stress and stress is actually classified as a medical condition.

Stress has a lot of symptoms and these symptoms can be classified as cognitive, emotional, physical, or behavioral. Cognitive symptoms include having poor memory, lack of ability to focus or concentrate, and being pessimistic. Emotional symptoms include mood swings, being ill-tempered, and restlessness. Physical symptoms include pains in different parts of the body, extremes of bowel movement, and nausea. Behavioral symptoms include abnormal appetite, lack of sleep or too much of it, and procrastination.
These are the symptoms of stress and it is important that people take control of it instead of the other way around, with stress taking control of the people.
3. Depression Signs and Symptoms
Depression is a mental illness and depending upon its severity, it can cause harm to the person himself or herself and the people around him or her. There are different kinds of depression and it is always important that the person get accurate diagnosis before moving on to therapy or treatment.

Major depression causes a person to experience a lot of symptoms that prevent him or her to get enough sleep, to lose focus on his or her work or studies, and to lose their appetite for food. They will also stop enjoying things that they loved doing before. It is a disabling mental condition.
Psychotic Depression is another kind of depression that causes a person to hallucinate, withdraw from reality, and experience delusions. Postpartum depression on the other hand, is experienced by women after giving birth. It is a more intense depression than the usual baby blues and is often left undiagnosed.
4. Natural Remedies for Toddlers with Fever
Fever is said to be a sign that a person’s body is fighting off an infection and is a mere symptom instead of a sickness. However, people are naturally alarmed when a toddler’s temperature gets too high. It may lead to more serious conditions and even death. There are some natural remedies for fever that are safe for toddlers.

One natural way to lower the toddler’s temperature is by making them wear wet socks. Cotton socks work best. Just wet the socks and squeeze water out. Make the toddler wear it and replace once it gets warm again. Another way is to have the toddler drink lots of water to help lower the body’s temperature.
It is always important to keep the neck and head cool. For this, towels may be used as well as ice packs. Just wet the towel with cold water and place it on the neck and forehead after water has been squeezed out.
5. Dental Care: Teeth Brushing Don’ts
Brushing the teeth is the primary dental care for everyone. There are a lot of things to remember about this dental habit just like there are a lot of things to remember about what people should not do when they brush their teeth.

Do not use any toothbrush. With a lot of different kinds of toothbrush available in the market, it is a bit hard to find the best one. The first thing to consider is the size of the toothbrush it should be able to move around inside the mouth freely. It should also be comfortable to hold. Its bristles should be hard enough to do its work but soft enough to not damage the person’s gums.
Although people are advised to brush their teeth at least twice a day, the ideal frequency is three times a day. Each brushing session should last at least two minutes. Brushing four times a day or more may lead to gum irritation and brushing too hard may lead to tooth enamel erosion.
6. Ideal Diet for Diabetic People
Being diabetic is perhaps the most limiting disease when it comes to food. There are sure to be a lot of food and drink restrictions that will make it hard for the patient to experience pleasure from eating. However, that should not be the case. Eating healthy can also mean eating delicious food. There are just some things that they should remember about eating.

Diabetic people should stay away from food that contains high sugar levels. They should not eat a lot of sweet food. It would be better to eat in smaller portions, sporadically, throughout the day. They should also watch their carbohydrates intake.
It would help if they will incorporate whole grains, certain kinds of fruits, and vegetables in their regular diet. Diabetic people should also stay away from alcohol as much as they can. Salty food should also be avoided.
7. Tips for Healthy Menopausal Habits
Menopausal is experienced by all women when they reach a certain age. There is no exact age as it varies from one person to another. It is mainly associated to aging and the inability to conceive. It has a lot of symptoms that can drive a woman crazy. Still, there are women who handle menopausal easily. There are some things that women can do so they can stay healthy physically and mentally even when going through their menopausal period.

Good nutrition applies similarly to a regular person and one who is going through menopausal period. They should stay away from fats and cholesterol. They should eat more fruits and vegetables to aid in their bowel mobility. They should also stay away from processed meat.
Women on their menopausal stage should exercise regularly. Aside from getting rid of menopausal symptoms, it will also keep them fit and healthy as they age.
8. Discovering Obesity Causes and Symptoms
More and more people are suffering from obesity. It may be viewed by some people as simply being too fat but the truth is it is a fatal disease. If it gets out of hand, it can lead to very serious illnesses and even death. It is better to understand it and know how to fight obesity.

Obesity happens when a person eats food with a lot of calories that their body cannot burn. These become deposits inside the body that makes the person gain a lot of weight. There are also some genetic factors that cause a person to have big appetite leading to uncontrollable eating and weight gain.
This can lead to symptoms such as having breathing difficulties. Obesity can lead to cancer, heart disease, diabetes, depression, liver diseases, gall bladder diseases, high blood pressure, stroke, high cholesterol, and joint disease. It can also cause a person to lose his or her self-confidence.
9. The Big C Symptoms
Cancer has claimed a lot of lives and continues to be one of the biggest causes of death. Although not much people understand how cancer works, they know and have seen enough to make them fear it. It comes to get even the most unexpected people. It does not mind whether the person is young or old, male or female, rich or poor.

Some of the most common symptoms of cancer include significant weight loss even though the person did not change anything on his or her diet or activity. It is usually a minimum of 10 lbs. and can be a symptom of pancreas, esophagus, stomach, or lung cancer. Frequent fever may also be a symptom of blood-related cancer such as Leukemia.
Fatigue, even when the person is not doing any heavy task may be a sign of colon or stomach cancer. Skin changes are also a usual symptom of cancer.
10. Detecting Breast Cancer through Self Examination
Breast cancer is one of the most common cancers in the United States. It has taken a lot of lives but there are some patients who continue to fight. There are available treatments though with cancer, nothing can be certain. Early detection is still the best defense against cancer.

A noticeable change in a breast is the most common and visible sign of breast cancer. Usually, it starts with a lump at the person’s underarm area and tenderness of the nipple. The skin also changes to what would look like the pores of an orange’s skin. Lumps in other parts of the breast may also be a symptom. However, when such symptoms are noticed, the person should consult a professional since it may turn out to be not cancerous at all.
Any change in the breast like change of shape, dimpling, swelling, shrinking, inverting nipple, and swelling may also be symptoms of breast cancer.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Care for Vacuum Cleaners


A vacuum maybe expensive but it is an investment you would want to make. This will not only help you multi task but it is also necessary to keep the air circulating in your house clean and fresh. 

Vacuuming regularly helps reduce allergens in the atmosphere like pollens, spores, molds and dander.
To get the most out of your roomba 520, you need not only use it properly but you also need to clean it regularly. The product’s user manual is a must-read before you start using your vacuum. It is ripe with materials that can help you get to know your machine better.

If you do not take good care of your machine, it will break down. Getting it fixed by a professional will involve a lot of money. Oftentimes, the amount you will spend to fix it is even greater than the actual amount of the product.



There are two basic types of vacuum based on the presence of a bag or lack thereof.  If you have a unit that uses a dirt bag, you need to check if the bag is half full already from time to time. The logic behind this is, the more dirt there is inside the bag, the slower your machine gets. This is because it will have difficult time suctioning dirt plus the pores in the bag will be blocked.

The first way to check if the bag is half full already is to rely on the touch and feel method. Another is through signs. Sometimes, a dust bunny or a ball of lint is left behind when you are cleaning up.
For bagless vacuums like the robotic vacuum, you will also need to empty its bin every time it is half full to keep it functioning properly.

A common source of headache when it comes to vacuums is their cord. It is either too short or too long. It can never be enough. If you are planning to clean a room, the vacuum’s cord must be long enough for you to clean all nook and cranny. However, extension cords are dangerous to use for this kind of machine because of overheating. Just keep your cord plugged in an accessible area so as not to yank it by accident.



There are also times wherein the cord may tangle. Be sure to unplug it before you untangle it.  Do not step over the cord or run it over with the machine. Avoid getting it pinched by the door or heavy furniture.

Before vacuuming, clean off the floor or the sofa from objects that might be vacuumed and can cause damage to the machine like coins, nails, staple wires, screws, paper clips, thumbtacks and small parts of the toys. This will likely be siphoned and will surely cause internal damage.

Another tip is to let your vacuum rest at least every 10 minutes. Do not overwork it or else it might overheat. For safety reasons, do not let a young child ride on it while you are cleaning. This machine is not built for that purpose. 

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

High School Life

High School Life is a creative non-fiction  from a perspective of a Grade 10 Student.

When the bell rang, the students rushed to the field. Just by the flag pole, our Music teacher stands. While we were waiting for the others, I looked around. I spotted three of my classmates wearing black shoes. Our teachers tell us to wear black shoes with our uniform and I would if I have black shoes. I looked down at my flip-flops and decided to dismiss such luxurious wish. I belong to the majority after all.

Once the music started to play, I put my right hand over my left breast. I meant to sing but I was mesmerized with the way that she moves her hands, matching the movement of the music. After the flag ceremony, we scrambled into our respective classrooms.

I sat down but not a couple of minutes late, our adviser’s voice boomed, “Cleaners! What are you waiting for?” I quickly stood up and told my classmate to come with me to fetch water. She stood up and followed me outside the classroom. I saw my other classmates sweeping the floor and the school grounds around our classroom, some were watering the plants, and some are dusting the windows off. We filled the drum with water after three trips.

Image source: https://pixnio.com/people/children-kids/educational-program-on-philippines-has-greatly-improved-the-educational-level-of-these-students


After half an hour, my adviser seems satisfied so she called everyone in. She asked our homeroom president to lead the prayer so we can start the class. After praying, she called our name out one by one for the checking of attendance. About a third of the class is absent. Our adviser tried asking us if we have any idea why many of our classmates are absent. No one answered but studying in a barrio, we know the reasons. Jay chose to take contractual construction work. Mica eloped with her boyfriend. Adrian, Francis, and Michael probably got themselves sick from drinking too much alcohol. Joan found out a few days ago that she’s pregnant.

Someone snored loudly just when our adviser is about to start her discussion of our lesson. The whole class erupted in laughter, waking up and surprising the culprit. It turns out to be Patrick. Ma’am did not scold him. She just laughed with the class. Most of our teachers in our morning classes are used to having one or two of my classmates sleeping in their classes. They are the ones who join the “basnig”, a big boat with a group of fishermen leaving late in the afternoon to fish and returning early in the morning.

Image source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/61/Free_College_Pathology_Student_Sleeping_Creative_Commons_%286961676525%29.jpg


Ma’am says that we will read a story. I craned my neck to see. She has a laptop but we do not have a projector so she just asks some volunteers to read the content of each slide loudly. We read a story entitled “A Day in the Country” by somebody named Anton. Ma’am showed us his picture. I remember his face but not his last name. I like the story except for the characters’ names that I cannot pronounce correctly.


We were 49 in our batch. We lose one or two every year because they transfer schools. We lose at least one per year because of retention to the grade level. Now that we are in high school we also lose at least one or two of our classmates every year because they decided to work instead. On my way home, I prayed that I would be able to finish high school right after praying for something delicious for dinner.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Zix Performance – The Montero Authority in Manila

If you are having a hard time finding a competent mechanic for your car especially if you are a Montero owner, fret no more. Everything that you are looking for in a professional mechanic, you can find at Zix Performance. Here, I will list down the reasons why Zix Performance is the best choice for you.

  • ·       Quick and accurate diagnosis. While other mechanics would take time to troubleshoot and still result to false diagnosis, Zix Performance can identify the problem accurately the first time. This is because of extensive experience with different kinds of vehicles. Of course, proper troubleshooting is still done so you can rest assured that the diagnosis has enough bases. This is one of the main reasons why first-time customers come back every time they experience problems with their vehicles.
  • Montero Specialist. Although Zix Performanze is also experienced in other kinds of vehicles, it specializes more on Monteros. This is why if you are looking for a specialist and not just your average mechanic, then you need to bring your baby to Zix. It knows Monteros thoroughly so you can rely on it to find the actual problem and fix the problem efficiently.
  • ·        Freebies. Who doesn’t like freebies? Get freebies in terms of extra services such as free check-up, free dash cam installation, and more. Zix values customer loyalty and satisfaction and Zix finds different ways to give back. You get freebies on top of the affordable service fee.
  • ·       Professionalism at its finest. You are welcomed with arms wide open and with a friendly smile each time you visit, no matter what kind of vehicular problems you have. Punctuality is one of their strongest points so you can be sure that when they give you a specific date and time, you will get what you came for. You can even watch everything that they do to your vehicle. Questions are welcome so you also get free tips on how to take good care of your vehicle. You will also learn trade secrets and all about the BS that the case usually feeds you.
  • ·       Comfort and convenience. One of the hardest things about going to the mechanic is waiting especially when you have company. Fortunately, Zix has a comfortable, air-conditioned waiting room where you and your family or friends can get comfy while watching TV or while enjoying the free Wi-Fi. There is also free drinking water for the thirsty ones and even free snacks at particular times of the day.
  • ·       Newbie-friendly. Newbies have many questions in their minds. However, it seems embarrassing to ask those and sometimes, you get worried that others may take advantage of your lack of knowledge. There’s no need to worry about such things with Zix Performance. Ask away and all your queries are respected, honestly answered, and professionally handled.


What more can you ask for? Go to Zix Performance Manila now and enjoy the experience for more pleasant surprises and more advantages to discover! Visit their Facebook page for more information: https://m.facebook.com/ZixPerformance/

Thursday, July 20, 2017

The Windrush Affair by Elsa Joseph

Alyssa peeped out of the canvas tarpaulin covering the lifeboat and surveyed the deck below. The coast was clear. Clinging on perilously in the buffeting wind and heaving Atlantic swell, she clambered down and made her way to the small washroom on the starboard side of the liner. She sneaked inside without being seen, closing the door behind her with a sigh of relief.

    Washing all over from the tiny hand basin was difficult and uncomfortable, but it was better than nothing. After all, she hadn’t paid for this trip like the other five-hundred-or-so Jamaicans on board. She was a stowaway, so poor that she hadn’t even been able to find the special reduced fare of £50 offered to immigrants seeking a new life in the Mother Country.

         When she had finished, Alyssa felt much better and looked at herself in the mirror with a degree of satisfaction. Staring back at her, she saw a pretty face framed with long, wavy black hair and perfect white teeth that captivated everyone whenever she smiled. The slim brown body she had just washed was firm and curvaceous and her legs were long and shapely. She’d been much admired in her hometown of Kingston and had been pursued by a whole host of young men desperate to win her favours, but she’d wanted none of them. They would all condemn her to a life of childbearing and domestic drudgery, just like her mother. She was worth more than that. The face she saw in the mirror was her fortune - that and her gift for cooking the most delicious food imaginable. She was going to make her way in the world and the city of London, whose streets she’d often been told were paved with gold, was the place where she would do it. She felt like a modern-day Dick Whittington - only she would be arriving by boat instead of by road - but she had the same determined ambition.

    Alyssa’s heart lurched as the door opened and someone else came in. This had never happened before. By confining her excursions from her hiding-place to the first light of dawn, she’d always managed to avoid meeting anybody. The newcomer looked equally surprised to see her. She was a middle- aged woman with bobbed hair that made her face look like a boy. She was wearing an expensive-looking tracksuit and was obviously taking some early-morning exercise.

     “Oh, hello,” she said in a very upper-class English accent. “What are you doing up at this ungodly hour?”

      Alyssa didn’t answer, not wishing to reveal anything about herself by talking. Instead, she mimed being sick.

    “You poor thing,” said the stranger. “Nothing worse than sea sickness. Admiral Nelson suffered from it dreadfully, you know. Can’t say it’s ever bothered me.”

The woman squeezed past Alyssa into the toilet cubicle.

    “I haven’t seen you before,” she continued from behind the closed door. “I’ve got to know most of the passengers at the sing-songs in the evenings with that Lord Kitchener chap. Isn’t he marvellous? I just adore calypso…”

The woman opened the door again to find she was talking to herself. Alyssa had gone.

    The ocean liner, the Empire Windrush, was now five days out from the West Indies and steaming steadily across the empty, windswept wastes of the mid-Atlantic. Originally a German cruise ship, she had served as a troop carrier and prison ship during WWII before being captured by the Allies. She was now used as a passenger vessel bringing civilians, including 60 displaced Polish refugees, from Australia. En route, the graceful white liner with her two huge funnels and sloping masts had called at Kingston docks where she had taken on the contingent of hope-filled Jamaican immigrants taking advantage of a special cheap fare to start a new life in London. They were due to reach British soil sometime in June.

    Back in her swaying lifeboat, Alyssa nibbled an apple from her rapidly dwindling supplies of food and water, relishing every mouthful and eating it all including the pips. She longed for something warm and filling for, although it was high summer, it was always cold in her precarious hiding-place high above the deck. Tiring of gazing at the endless expanse of heaving grey water, she settled down with a weary sigh for another long day of drifting in and out of sleep. But she had barely closed her eyes when she heard noises above her and suddenly the tarpaulin cover was yanked aside, dazzling her eyes with bright sunlight.

    “Hello, hello! What ‘ave we ‘ere?” snorted a grinning seaman, reaching in and grabbing Alyssa’s arm in a vice-like grip. “I thought I saw you yesterday, scurryin’ abaht like a bleedin’ rabbit. Think you’d better come with me, lady. Skipper will want a word with you.”

        The Captain did not know quite what to do with his stowaway, particularly one as vibrant and attractive as this. But his problem was solved by the other passengers. Hearing of Alyssa’s plight, they organised a collection so that her fifty pound fare could be being paid for her and a further five pounds put in her pocket as spending money. Alyssa was overwhelmed by this kindness and thanked everyone personally, shaking their hands and treating them each to her dazzling smile. By the time she had finished, there were as many men in love with her as there had been back home in Kingston Town. But her good fortune did not end there. At the musical gathering that evening, the fresh-faced woman with the bobbed haircut came up and introduced herself.

    “Hello again,” she said, her voice sounding even more plummy than before. “I’m Lady Tomilson. But please call me Stella. Everyone else does. I have to say, I really admire your spunk, my dear. It takes great guts to endure the hardship of being a stowaway. I’d like to get to know you better. In fact, come to think of it, I’d like to take you under my wing.”

    In the days that followed, Alyssa spent a lot of time with Stella Tomilson, sitting at the bar and listening to her new friend talking with great enthusiasm about every subject under the sun. Stella was an intellectual, an academic thinker and writer, who had moved in the highest literary circles during the Thirties before involving herself in the fight against fascism. She was also incredibly wealthy, the only granddaughter of Sir Andrew Tomilson whose family had made a vast fortune out of the railway boom in Victorian times. Not that she considered her money of any importance other than the fact that it allowed her to do whatever she pleased, especially pursuing worthy causes. And she felt Alyssa was definitely a worthy cause. This young woman was obviously brave and ambitious, qualities that Stella greatly admired and exhibited herself in her unconventional, fast-moving lifestyle. She was determined to help this penniless girl and make sure her dreams came true in her newly-adopted country.

    The Windrush docked at Tilbury on June 22, 1948. It was a hot summer’s day and the excited immigrants felt very much at home as they struggled down the crowded gangplanks with their battered suitcases, pausing to have their pictures taken as they arrived in England. Stella and Alyssa were amongst the last to leave the ship. As some harassed-looking British officials led the noisy chattering crowd away towards Clapham air-raid shelter, their makeshift home for the next few days, the two women climbed into a waiting car and were driven to Stella’s elegant town house in Chelsea. That evening, lying in a comfortable bed with a bell to ring if she wanted anything brought to her, Alyssa could not believe her good fortune. She’d gone from rags to riches overnight. Everything she’d been told about the Mother Country was true. The streets of London were paved with gold.

     *        *        *        *          *

    About a week after Alyssa’s arrival, Stella announced her intention of closing the house for six months and going to live with one of her lovers in Paris.

     “Don’t you worry, my dear,” she added, laying a reassuring hand on Alyssa’s arm. “You’re not being thrown out on the street. I’ve found you a job. My friends Lady Tara and Lord Richard Scott are looking for someone to help them round the house – you know, bit of cooking and cleaning, that sort of thing. I think you’ll fit the bill admirably. In fact, I’ll take you there tomorrow and introduce you. They live in a splendid house in Knightsbridge. And they’re lovely people.”

    That evening, when Stella was attending a literary party at the Savoy, Alyssa wrote to her mother for the first time since arriving in England …

Dear Madda,

      Wha an adventcha mi havin’!

      Mi arrive in London Town safe and sound lass week. Mi had an excitin’ journey acrosss de wata. Everyone was very kind to mi. Mi now stayin’ wit a wonderful English fren’ who ah luk afta mi well. Shi hab even find mi wuk.

    It ah summa dehyah and de weada is hot (but nutten like it is at home.) Mi miss Jamaica aredi, but dere ah nuff apachuniti dehyah that mi cannot fail to du well. Mi miss yuh most of aal, madda – and aal de rest of de fambily, specially Seanna. Mi nah recall gwan noweh witout mi lickkle sista.

    Mi will writ to yuh again in ah few weeks’ time and tell yuh how mi is gettin’ on. Yuh mustn’t fret bout mi. Mi goin’ to liv inna big posh house weh mi will be given food and clothes and be paid for mi wuk. Comin’ to England is ah dream com true. Mi wish yuh were dehyah to share it aal wit mi.
Wit all mi luv,
Yuh Alyssa.
   


    Lord Richard greeted Alyssa with a genuine smile of welcome. He was reading the paper in the sitting room and jumped up as she entered, clearly surprised and delighted to have such an attractive visitor. His wife, a small woman with a sharp face who wore formal tailored suits every day of the week and a tweed one on Sunday, showed no such obvious pleasure. As soon as she got the chance, she bundled Stella into the drawing room and rounded on her furiously.
    “You didn’t tell me she was a nigger!” she hissed.

    “It wasn’t relevant,” replied Stella, calmly. “And don’t use the word ‘nigger.’ It’s very offensive.”

    “I’ll use whatever words I like in my own house!” snapped Lady Tara, her cheeks flushing angrily. She wasn’t used to being criticised or made to feel in the wrong. “Just tell her to go back to whatever primitive place she came from.”

    “I’m afraid I can’t do that,” said Stella, looking through the door and noticing with satisfaction how well Alyssa and Sir Richard were getting on together.  “On the phone, you told me you were in desperately in need of someone to work for you. You can’t change your mind now just because of the colour of her skin.”

    “Of course I can…” protested Lady Tara, stopping short when she noticed the look of growing fury on her friend’s face.

    “We’ve been friends since Roedean, Tara,” whispered Stella, moving in close so their faces were only inches apart, “but I never realised just how prejudiced you really are. Your attitudes sicken me. If you’re not careful, I won’t have anything more to do with you.”

    “All right, all right,” agreed Lady Tara, suddenly panic-stricken at the thought of losing her well-connected friend. “I’ll give the girl a try. But she’ll have to learn to speak the King’s English. When I met her at the door, I couldn’t understand a word she said.”

       “She speaks Patois, a Jamaican version of English,” explained Stella. “I love it. It’s so colourful and expressive. You’ll get used to it.”

       Two days later, Alyssa bade a tearful farewell to Stella, the woman who’d shown her such kindness, and took up her position in the Scott’s household. Her spirits dropped when she was shown to her tiny attic bedroom, but lifted again when she entered the enormous kitchen with cupboards stocked with food despite the continuing rationing and an inviting scrubbed pine work table in the centre.

    “Mi in cooking heaven,” she said to herself, looking around excitedly - only to have her dreams dashed again when Mrs Morgan appeared. She was the Scott’s cook, a dour Welsh woman with her hair in a bun and a face that looked as if she’d just been sucking a lemon. When Alyssa explained that she hoped to do some of the cooking and introduce the family to the delights of West Indian food, Mrs Morgan just laughed in her face.

    “We’ll have no foreign muck served up from my kitchen, thank you very much,” she said.

        As summer gave way to autumn, Alyssa found herself working long hours for very little pay. She had no specific role in the household. She was just a general dogsbody, at everyone’s beck and call, expected to do anything that was required at any time. So she found herself clearing out the grates and laying the fires, cleaning the silver, dusting and polishing the rooms, making the beds and scrubbing the toilets. This was a far cry from what she felt she was worth, but she got on with the work in the hope that she would one day be given the chance to show what she could do. The only bright spot in her endless days were her frequent encounters with Lord Richard. He had an uncanny knack of knowing where she was and would appear unexpectedly; always looking delighted to see her. Sometimes, when his wife wasn’t around, he made Alyssa take a break and sat with her, enjoying her amusing speech and bathing in her radiant smile. Despite being several years older than her, Alyssa found him very attractive. He was tall and slim and physically fit – he still played polo with Lord Cowdray down in Midhurst. He had a kind face with no moustache or beard and huge hands that, when she first noticed them, Alyssa imagined being pressed around her and holding her tight. Most alluring of all was a mysterious air of sadness that hung about him. Alyssa sensed that all was not well in his marriage and something in her longed to put it right. She knew full well that any sort of relationship with her employer would spell disaster for all concerned, but that did not stop her lying in her small uncomfortable bed in the attic and fantasising about making this kind and loving man happy again.

    One morning, Alyssa was asked to go and do some shopping. This was one of the rare occasions she had been out of the house since she’d arrived and she was looking forward to some time on her own and to seeing more of London. Walking to a street market in the Pimlico Road in the mellow October sunshine, she was shocked to find she had to queue for everything she wanted and that people beside in the queue seemed to find her presence offensive. Some just moved away with disapproving scowls. Others were overtly hostile.

    “We don’t want ‘er sort ‘ere,” said one woman with an old scarf tied round her head, talking to her friend in a deliberately loud voice so Alyssa could hear.

    “Nah,” agreed the other, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “Looks like she’s just got orf the banana boat.”

Alyssa maintained her dignity by saying nothing and trying to ignore the abuse, but inside she was seething. This wasn’t what she’d been promised back home in Jamaica. At school she’d been taught that all citizens of the Commonwealth were welcome in the Motherland. Clearly, it wasn’t true. Black immigrants like her were feared and despised by the ordinary people of London who regarded them as little more than natives from a National Geographic magazine.

    One afternoon, shortly before Christmas, Mrs Morgan felt unwell and took to her bed with a feverish cold. Alyssa went to tell her employers.

    “I believe you can cook,” said Lady Tara, looking up from the letter she was writing with barely-concealed disinterest. “So get on with it, will you.”

    “Yes, ma’am,” replied Alyssa, deliberately hesitating for a moment.

    “What now?” sighed Lady Tara, wearily.

    “Yuh food, is not mi,” explained Alyssa, mixing her newly-gained English skills with her native Patois. “Jamaican food, dat di best ever mek.”

    “She says she can’t cook English food, but she’s brilliant at Caribbean cooking,” put in Sir Richard.

    “I understood what she said,” snapped Lady Tara. “I suppose it’ll have to do.” Then she returned to her writing.

    “I’m sure it’ll be splendid, my dear,” said Sir Richard, crossing the room and patting Alyssa her reassuringly on the shoulder.

    The meal was both a disaster and a triumph. Alyssa made good use of Mrs Morgan’s store of rarely-used spices to cook Chicken Jerk which she served on a bed of plain boiled rice. Lady Tara took one mouthful and spat it all out, clutching her throat and downing several glasses of water.

    “N-N-Never again,” she spluttered, storming out of the room. “I shall get a hamper in from Fortnum and Mason and we can live on cold cuts until Mrs Morgan recovers.”

Sir Richard, on the other hand, remained at the table and finished his supper with relish before taking a generous second helping. Afterwards, he rang the bell to summon Alyssa.

    “I was right,” he said, looking at her with eyes full of admiration. “That was truly splendid. You must cook again when the time is right. Maybe you’d like to join me and we could have dinner together.”

    For several weeks past, Alyssa had been noticing the cold. It seemed to get worse with each passing day. This was something else that she had not been told about at home. There, warm weather and outdoor living were a way of life. Here in cold, dark mid-winter Britain, sunshine was just a distant memory of summer and autumn. The early mornings were the worst of all. Having to get out of bed at 5am and get dressed in her freezing attic made her feel physically sick. Sometimes, her teeth chattered so loudly she was frightened she would chip them. No matter how many layers of clothes she wore under her uniform, she could never get warm. She longed for the tropical climate of Jamaica with its endless sunny days and breath-taking sunsets when the whole sky turned orange and pink as if pots of luminous paint had been thrown right across it. In London, everything was always grey or smothered with choking yellowish smog.

    When Alyssa asked to be moved to a bedroom with a grate and a chimney, Lady Tara shook her head and told her to go for a walk.

     “Nothing like exercise for getting your circulation going and warming you up, my dear,” she said, sitting beside the blazing fire in the sitting-room. “Why don’t you take a turn along the Embankment? I always find the view of the Thames most uplifting.”

Then she took her purse out of her pearl-covered handbag and handed Alyssa a few coppers.
    “Get the bus back if you wander too far or get tired,” she added.

    So, one frosty Sunday morning in early February, Alyssa set off on foot for a sightseeing tour of the capital. She would have preferred to stay in bed on her day off, but once Lady Tara got an idea in her head, she would not let it go. Alyssa’s breath formed white clouds in front of her as she strode south towards the river. It was a silent walk as well as a cold and lonely one. Wherever she went, she passed bomb sites and half-collapsed buildings where nobody went because of the danger. The idea that the streets of London were paved with gold had long since faded from her mind. They were paved with dust and rubble…and hatred.

    Wherever she went, Alyssa was met with the same overt hostility. When she sat on one end of a park bench to eat her packed lunch, the woman on the other end got up and moved to another seat. When she asked for a cup of tea at a street stall, the man inside wearing a greasy striped apron made monkey noises as he served her. And a group of street youths kicking a football about down a dirty alley shouted:

     “Go home, darkie. You’re not welcome here!”

as she walked past. By the time she reached the Houses of Parliament and heard Big Ben striking the hour – images of England she had been taught to respect and love – she no longer cared what she saw. Catching the bus with her few precious pennies, she sat upstairs with the coughing smokers and let the tears pour down her cheeks in silent misery. Nobody looked at her, spoke to her or tried to comfort her. Only the conductor gave her a brief smile. She recognised him as one of the fellow passengers from the Windrush. Like many of the others who had found work on the buses and trains, he was doing a job the English working class didn’t want to do. In barely six months, the hopes and dreams of all those excited and eager faces had come crashing down around their ears.

    That night, Alyssa wrote another letter to her mother. It was very different from the first…

Dear Madda,

                Oh, how mi miss yuh! Mi want to cum home. Mi nah like it dehyah in dis cold country weh de people nah smile. Dis is a lonely place.

    Everyting we ear is a lie. De Madda Country nah welcum wi. Wi nah equal citizens of de Commonwealth. Wi are outsiders, despised fe havin’ black skins, and wi are only needed to du dutty wuk fe which wi are paid next-to-noting. Wi are second-class citizens and always will be. Tell Seanna and anyone else who  tink of followin’ in mi footsteps not to cum dehyah England. England is a bad place.

    As soon as mi save up nough funds, mi will cum home. Till then, tink of mi when yuh yam yuh ackee and saltfish  fe breakfast. Mi be bak to cook it fah yuh soon.

Wit mi fondest luv to yuh all,
Alyssa.


   *      *       *       *       *
   
        Stella returned from Paris earlier than expected. She’d been invited to become the chief fundraiser for a new Homeless Charity set up for people who’d lost everything as a result of the recent massive devaluation of the pound. So, one morning in May when the leaves on the plane trees were just beginning to show, she called at the Scott’s and persuaded Sir Richard to make a sizeable donation. When Alyssa walked into the room, she greeted her with great enthusiasm, but was in too much of a hurry to talk to her personally and learn of her troubles. With a cheery wave, she swept off to find Lady Tara and gave her a ticket for a garden party being attended by young Princess Margaret. Unfortunately, her sister Princess Elizabeth wouldn’t be there because she’d just given birth to her first-born child, Charles. Lady Tara was in seventh heaven at the prospect of mixing with royalty and was in a good mood for days after, even going as far as giving Alyssa some money and telling her to buy a new dress.

    Late one evening, when Alyssa was taking her weekly bath, Lord Richard walked in on her – whether by accident or design, she didn’t know. She was about to step out of the water and was reaching for the towel when he burst in and stood there, looking transfixed. Her first instinct was to grab the towel and wrap it round her, but something in her stopped her from acting modestly. Instead she just stood in front of him, completely naked, with the bathwater glistening on her perfect smooth skin. Watching him staring at her pert breasts, her flat stomach and the neatly-trimmed bush of black curly hair below it, she allowed a knowing smile to play across her face before turning to reach for the towel and show him her perfect bottom. He was obviously racked with desire and she was tempted to make love to him there and then, but she felt it wasn’t the time or the place. So, to torment him further, she went right up close to him, kissed one finger and touched it on his nose and then turned him round to push him gently out of the door. The whole incident left her breathless and aching for fulfilment, but she knew she could wait. She’d revealed her consent to his obvious attraction and there was now an unspoken promise between them. It would only be a matter of time before something happened. That was enough for now.

    Clothes rationing had recently finished. So, with the money Lady Tara had given her, Alyssa was able to buy herself a dress from the market. It was bright red with a figure-hugging cut and short hemline, quite different from the long dresses and narrow pencil skirts on display in the Knightsbridge shop windows. This time, she did not receive the same amount of abuse from the stallholders. There were one or two other black faces shopping at the market now and there was also a West Indian stall selling belts and wallets. More immigrants had arrived in the year since the Windrush and the people of London were gradually starting to get used them. Alyssa was grateful for that. She knew hatred could never be the way. Life had to be lived in friendship and love. And love was now the only thing that was keeping her in England.

    At another stall, she bought herself a pair of red high-heeled shoes to match her new dress. They were very expensive and she had to spend all the money she’d saved up for her return ticket to Jamaica. But she no longer cared. To go back now would be to leave her smouldering affair with Sir Richard unconsummated and that was unthinkable. She knew, if she left without giving vent to the passion that was threatening to consume her, she would regret it for the rest of her life.


    Lady Tara’s garden party coincided with Mrs Morgan’s annual summer holiday to Wales.

    “We’re going to be late back, so Stella’s asked me to stay with her tonight,” said Lady Tara, looking in the hall mirror and touching up her hair. “Will you be all right on your own?”

      “I’ll be fine, dear,” replied Sir Richard, smiling patiently as he waited for her to go. “Alyssa here will look after me, I’m sure.”

As soon as the front door had closed and the taxi had driven away, Sir Richard and his Jamaican maid rushed into each other’s arms and kissed passionately for the first time. The kiss went on and on, their tongues exploring each other hungrily, and Alyssa could tell he wanted to take her to bed there and then. But she broke away, wagging one finger coquettishly.

    “Mi cook food,” she said. “Dat di best eva mek.”

    Alyssa’s plan was to seduce her lover with a delicious West Indian feast. This required goats’ meat which she knew she wouldn’t find locally. So she’d already taken the liberty of using Mrs Morgan’s household account at nearby Harrods to order some in. The grey, tough-looking meat sat on the pine table in the kitchen wrapped in grease-proof paper, waiting to be transformed into curried goat with rice and peas, Jamaica’s national dish. It would be followed by soft moist fruit cake. This took Alyssa all afternoon to prepare, giving her very little time to get ready herself. After a quick wash, she slipped on her red dress and shoes and stopped to admire herself in the mirror. There was no doubt about it - she looked stunning! The bright material contrasted perfectly with her dark skin. Tonight was going to be the night.

    After sharing the delicious food and two bottles of red wine in the empty silent house, the love-light was shining from Alyssa’s eyes like a beacon. But Sir Richard seemed troubled and Alyssa began to wish she’d gone ahead and allowed him to make love to her earlier in the day. He kept returning to Lady Tara, talking about his wife with a mixture of fondness and contempt.

    “We can’t have any children, you know,” he suddenly blurted out, pouring himself another glass of wine. “Tara had two miscarriages. She’s barren now.”

Seeing the tears welling up in his eyes, Alyssa took his big hands in hers and held them lovingly, despite the resentment she felt that he was talking about his wife at an intimate moment like this.

    “Now she’s barren,” he continued, sounding quite desperate, “she doesn’t want anything to do with me. She won’t let me near her. We haven’t…well, you know… for over three years now.”
Alyssa’s response was to cup his face in her hands and kiss him tenderly on the lips. He reacted with hungry passion, but then to her great surprise he broke away and jumped up, looking upset and confused.

    “Shouldn’t do this,” he gasped, choking with emotion.

Then he left the room without saying another word.

    Alyssa sat at the dining room table, staring at the empty dishes with a sense of total disbelief. What had gone wrong? He’d seemed so keen earlier. She was certain he felt the same all-consuming desire for her that she did for him, so what was stopping him? Guilt? Fear? Shame? For a moment, she was tempted to follow him and confront him with these questions, but she suspected he was in such a state he wouldn’t know what to answer. He was best left alone. But, as she got up and started to clear away the dishes, Alyssa felt heartbroken and angry at the tragic waste of this God-given opportunity.

    That night, as she lay in her attic unable to sleep, she heard footsteps approaching up the narrow stairs. They were followed by a polite knock on the door and the smell of expensive eau de cologne. Without saying a word, Sir Richard turned on the dim light and held out one hand, leading her back downstairs and across the landing to the main guest room. It was illuminated by hundreds of candles. They glowed and flickered on the window sill, the dressing table and all around the deep four-poster bed. It was unbelievably romantic and Alyssa felt her throat tighten with excitement. In an instant, all the passion she’d been struggling to contain for so many months surged back and threatened to overwhelm her. She threw aside her flimsy nightdress and began to undo the buttons of Sir Richard’s shirt.

    The night that followed was one Alyssa would never forget. They made love several times and, on each occasion, her climax was longer and more intense than the last. Sir Richard was a skilled lover who put her pleasure before his own. This was a new experience for her. Now twenty seven years old, she had been with several men back in Jamaica but, with the exception of one married man who had some experience, they had not known how to satisfy her.

    “Mi ah wutless gyal,” she would always say to her mother after her latest conquest.

Her new lover, on the other hand, had great sexual stamina and knew how to arouse her and keep her aroused. When, at last, they collapsed into each other’s arms to sleep, Alyssa felt a sense of peace and contentment that she’d never known before. It was almost mystical. After months of painful alienation, this one night of sexual love made her feel completely at one with the world.

  *        *        *       *        *
   
    Alyssa suspected she was pregnant long before she went to the new National Health Service maternity clinic and had it confirmed by the doctor. It came as no surprise. Since their first passionate encounter that evening, she and her lover had taken every opportunity they could find to express their pounding desire for one another, often avoiding discovery by a matter of seconds. Alyssa had loved Sir Richard from the first moment she’d set her eyes on him. Now she was confident that he loved her too and would stand by her with regard to the baby. After all, she was giving him what his wife could not. She would tell him when the time was right.

    Lady Tara became suspicious that something was going on one morning when Alyssa was serving coffee. She caught a look between them that she didn’t understand. Sitting alone in the study afterwards, pretending to read a book, she recalled various other things that she’d noticed recently but had chosen to ignore. Her husband seemed much happier than usual. Why was that? Their lives were no different from usual. Also, he’d taken to asking what she was doing on a daily basis, pretending to be interested in her whirl of social engagements. This was also something new and she suspected he was trying to discover when she would be out. Most damning of all were some hotel receipts she found in his jacket pocket. He’d told her he was playing polo on these occasions – but they all coincided with Alyssa’s days off.

    One morning, seeing her husband joking affectionately with their maid in a dark corner of the hall, Lady Tara decided to put her suspicions to the test. Announcing she was going out for the morning, she slammed the front door shut and waited a while before returning to the house via the basement. With a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, she followed the sound of whispering and laughter to the guest room where she found the couple romping on the bed. She stood in the doorway for several moments before they noticed her.

    “At least you had the decency not to desecrate our marriage bed,” she said, coldly.

Sir Richard jumped up and hurried after his wife, closely followed by Alyssa who’d put on his dressing gown. It was too big for her and gaped open, revealing her breasts. They all met up at the top of the grand staircase.

    “You whore!” spat Lady Tara, glaring furiously at Alyssa. “I knew it was a mistake to let you into this house.”

    “Don’t take it out on her…” began Sir Richard.

    “That’s right, you defend the sneaky black bitch,” seethed his wife, her face contorted with fury. “I suppose you’re going to tell me now that this isn’t some sordid little lust-filled fling but a meaningful love affair between the two of you.”

    “Dat is right!” exclaimed Alyssa in her best English.

    “Shut up, you,” snarled Lady Tara, turning on her husband. “Is this right, Richard? Do you love this nigger?”

Sir Richard didn’t reply, leaving both women in a state of agonising suspense.

    “Answer me,” screamed his wife, pummelling his chest with her fists. “Do you love this servant girl?”

    “I do,” he answered, quietly.

    “An’ mi luv him,” added Alyssa, patting her stomach. “Mi be baby maddda.”

    “What?” gasped Lady Tara, her eyes growing as wide as saucers. “You’re pregnant? Is this true, Richard?”

    “First I’ve heard of it,” he murmured, his face going ashen as he realised the full impact of what he was hearing.

    “Mi was gawan tell yuh soon,” said Alyssa, glaring defiantly at her rival. “Dis half eediat wife of yuh mak mi now.”

There was a long silence in which all three stood contemplating the enormity of the situation in which they’d found themselves. Then suddenly, as she realised she stood to lose everything, Lady Tara flew into a furious rage and, screaming like a banshee, she grabbed hold of Alyssa’s hair, swung her round and threw her down the stairs. Screaming with pain and fear, Alyssa tumbled headlong down the wide staircase, hitting the wall at the bottom and lying still. Sir Richard rushed down after her in a frenzy of concern, demonstrating beyond any doubt his passionate feelings for her. His wife just stood at the top of the stairs like Lady Macbeth, looking down with utter contempt and not a trace of remorse.

    Battered and bruised but otherwise unhurt, Alyssa came to her senses and clung onto Sir Richard for support.

    “Tak mi to Stella now,” she said, staggering up and wincing from the pain of her fall. She felt desperately worried about the baby inside her, but at the same time elated that everything was now out in the open and her lover appeared to be siding with her. “Mi need rest.”
Lady Tara watched in silent hatred as her husband ushered Alyssa into a taxi and went with her to Chelsea to explain the situation.

    Despite her own bohemian lifestyle, Stella was shocked at the immoral behaviour of her protégé.

    “I take a pretty dim view of all this, you know,” she lectured, as Alyssa sat on her red leather Chesterfield settee nursing her bruised shoulder. “When I took you under my wing, I jolly well didn’t expect you to steal my best friend’s husband.”

    “Mi not tak him,” replied Alyssa. “Him mi luv.”

    “I very much doubt that,” said Stella. “Think of the scandal if he divorces his wife for you, a servant girl and a black one to boot. Then becoming the father of a half-caste child. He’d be shunned by polite society.”

    “Him do it. Him mi luv,” repeated Alyssa.

    “I think you’d be much better off going home to have the baby,” urged Stella. “I’ll pay your fare and all the other expenses.”

    “No!” shouted Alyssa, jumping up and arguing with her friend for the first time ever. “Mi wait. Him cum.”

      Alyssa did not lose the baby as a result of the fall. She stayed at Stella’s, her stomach growing bigger all the time. But they were endless days as she waited for Sir Richard to get in touch. Stella was incredibly patient with her, respecting her conviction that she was genuinely loved, but suspecting the opposite as time went on with no contact of any kind. In the end, Stella set a deadline of early September when Alyssa would be seven months pregnant. That would just about give her time to return to Jamaica before the child was due. Alyssa agreed to this proposal. If he was going to betray her despite all the things he’d promised, then he didn’t deserve to see the baby he so desperately craved.

     One August afternoon, when the sun blazed down on the London streets like it did on old Kingston Town, there was a thunderous knock on Stella’s front door. Alyssa knew who it was before she even opened it. Sir Richard stood on the doorstep holding a huge bunch of flowers which he dropped down the steps as she threw himself into his arms and kissed him passionately all over his face. Later, seated in Stella’s elegant drawing room sipping Earl Grey tea, he explained that his lawyers had advised him not to contact Alyssa while the terms of his divorce were being settled. He had kept the house, using all his savings and investments to buy his wife out. She had gone to live with her sister in Bath, far away from the capital where the gossip and scandal were less likely to cause her embarrassment. Stella felt a degree of pity for her lifelong friend, but remembering her hatred for Alyssa and seeing the obvious happiness of this unlikely couple together, she could understand why it had all happened. Stella was too much of a liberal and a free-thinker to stand in the way of such love.

    The next two months were the happiest of Alyssa’s life. Sir Richard hired a new maid to take her place and she became mistress of the household, waited on hand and foot from morning till night. Not that she craved this attention. Sir Richard insisted on it. Having sacrificed everything for an heir, he wanted to make sure this baby would have the best possible start in life and allowed Alyssa to do nothing for herself. She didn’t argue. She just sat around, relishing her good fortune. Two years ago, she was hiding out in a lifeboat swaying precariously above the icy Atlantic. Now she was living in a big London house with a man who loved her deeply and a much-wanted child on the way. Her dreams had finally come true. And none of it would have happened had she not stowed away on the Windrush.

    Toby Jack Scott was born by caesarean section in a private clinic in Harley Street in early October – a seven pound baby boy with dusky brown skin and a patch of wavy black hair like his mother’s. It was a moment of the purest joy… followed almost immediately by the deepest tragedy. As the proud father cradled the tiny bundle in his arms and watched him yawn wearily, Alyssa suddenly haemorrhaged internally and lost so much blood before a transfusion could be arranged that she died where she lay, never having regained consciousness from the anaesthetic and see her child. Fate, that had seemed so much on her side, now turned against her and all was lost.

     Without the woman he loved, Sir Richard lost everything too – but his desperate grief was tempered by his new-found fatherhood. He had Toby Jack to live for now and this saved him from despair. He knew it wouldn’t be easy to be a single parent bringing up a mixed-raced child in the prejudiced circles of upper-class England. But he had to try. He owed it to Alyssa. She had dreamed of success and happiness by coming to England. He’d make sure their son would find it for her.

Copyright 2017
   
   
    
   
   
   
   

    

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Filipino Declamation Piece - Walang Forever

Walang Forever



“Ay, Magkikita na kami sa wakas!” Napatilo ako nang mabasa ko ang mensahe ni Andoy. “Hoy! Bakit ka naman makkipagkita dyan, eh hindi mo naman kakilala yan. Mamaya mapahamak ka pa dyan eh,” sabi ni Filomena, ang aking matalik na kaibigan. “Alam mo, ikaw, kontrabida ka talaga. Ano naman? Kaya nga makikipagkita eh para makilala ko na itong ka-textmate ko sa personal. At saka, isasama ko naman kayo. Doon kami Magkikita sa Busay,” sagot ko. “Aba, at idinamay mo pa kami,” sabi niya. Tumalikod ako at nagpapadyak. Wala pa man ay kinikilig na ako. Naiisip ko na kung ano ang itsura niya. Siguro, kamukha siya ni James Reid. Mayroon siyang anim na pan de sal, tapos, yung mala-Adonis niyang braso. Oh, my!
Ano kaya isusuot ko? Ito ba? Ito kaya? Eto? O Eto? Uhm, ang hirap namang pumili. Dapat sexy ako tignan pero mukha pa ring mahinhin. “Pahiram naman ako ng bestida mong itim Filo,” sabi ko sa aking kaibigan. “Bestida? Sa Busay? Yung totoo? May pictorial ka? Tanong niya. Ang damot mo naman. Siyempre, bestida muna. Para mukhang presentable tignan. Magbabaon na lang ako ng pampaligo. Yung one piece para mareveal ang aking sexy body,” sagot ko. “Sige na nga, bahala ka.”

Makalipas ang ilang araw, dumating ang aking pinakahihintay na pagkakataon. Halos di ako makatulong at makakain sa sobrang pananabik. Hindi ko na mahintay ang mamaya at sa wakas, Makikita ko na ang aking prince charming. O, aking irog na Andoy!

“Lilit, ikaw bay an?” tanong ng isang boses na makikilala ko yata kahit saan ko marinig. Pagharap ko, halos hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili na manlumo. Walang James Reid, walang pan de sal, walang Adonis, walang himala! “Ah, ikaw bas i Andoy?” tanong ko. Natawa siya. “Parang hindi ka naman masaya na makita ako ah,” sabi niya. “Hindi ah. Masaya naman no? Siyempre.” Sagot ko sa kanya. “Ang ganda mo pala lalo sa personal,” sabi niya na may ngiti sa mga labi. “Uhm, maliit na bagay. Wag mo nang sabihin, uy. Nahihiya ako eh. Char lang.”

Pinakilala ko siya sa aking mga kaibigan. Medyo dismayado man, naging masaya naman ang aming kwentuhan dahil mahilig siyang magpatawa. Hindi ko man nagustuhan ang kaniyang itsura pero at least, napagtanto ko na wala naman sa itsura ang pagmamahal. Nagkalapit kami at hindi naglaon, naging kami na.

Tatlong buwan na kaming magkarelasyon nang una kaming mag-away. “Mahal mo ba ako talaga?” tanong ko. “Oo naman,” agad niyang sabi. “Yung profile pic ko, nakita mo ba?”tanong ko. “Oo, ni-like ko pa nga eh. Ang ganda mo dun. Proud ako sa iyo,” sabi niya. “Proud ka? Seryoso ka diyan?” agad kong sabi. “Oo. Seryoso ako. Palagi naman akong seryoso pagdating sa iyo,” sabi niya. “Ayoko na. Niloloko mo lang ako. Hindi mo ako mahal,” sabi ko. “Bakit naman?” tanong niya. “Hindi mo pinusuan. Kung talagang mahal mo ako, hindi lang dapat like. Dapat puso! Puso!” paliwanag ko. “Yun lang? Ganun kababaw? Sasayangin mo ang tatlong buwan?” tanong niya. “Mabuti nang masayang ang tatlong buwan na nakaraan kaysa masayang ang mga susunod pang taon.” Sagot ko sabay alis. Hindi niya ako hinabol. Hindi niya ako pinigilan. Hindi niya ako tinawag. Hindi niya ako mahal.

Pinunit ko ang lahat ng aming litrato. Binura ko ang numero niya sa cellphone ko. Inunfriend ko siya sa Facebook. Binlock ko pa. Bitter na kung bitter pero nasaktan ako. Nagbilin ako sa nanay ko na kapag pumunta siya, sabihin na wala ako, natutulog, may sakit. Sakit sa puso na hindi magamot-gamot nino man.

Hindi siya pumunta. Walang bakas ni anino niya.
Ngayon, alam ko na. Walang forever. Bakit kaya?

Isinulat nina Ma. Angelica M. Domingo at Keana B. Regalado
Binigkas ni Keana B. Regalado

Jawili Integrated School